As I think on it, I have to say that kitchen dynamics are likely never simple. I always felt welcomed into my mom’s kitchen but shushed out of my grandma’s (on my moms side). My colombian grandma would give you the serious evil eye if you tried to intrude (I always wanted to learn, she just saw a fat kid who she didnt want snacking on the food before supper time). I loved her and loved the food she was making but I could never bridge the barrier, I regret it so much.

When my kids are in the kitchen this is the dynamic: the 10 year old gets cooking lessons and gets quized, gets to help and gets photos taken; my 3 year old gets restrained in a high chair, gets tastes, gets to smell and handle ingredients, gets to peek into pots of cooking food that I bring over to her, and gets to bang on pots and pans; the 4 month old gets to be restrained, gets to watch, gets to smell, gets to touch things like chilly eggs.

I think they get the idea that they are welcome there. If things are hot and heavy (like taking roasts out of the oven) they get shooed out.

My husband high tails it to do something of his own during this time, free brain time, cant blame him!

My husband and I do tag team the cooking. If I start something and the baby needs to be fed and its time to finish the meal, my husband jumps in and I just let it go, not worrying about how he chooses to finish it (might look different from what I thought it was going to be. Just as long as its edible, I dont care! Unless its for food photography, then no one can touch or even look at it *winks*)

Whew .. TMI?

I agree with you completely re: the snapping up bit, so sexist.

You can bet that a man could not have gotten away with writing this article.

However, some of the quotes and humiliating behaviors ascribed to the alphas I found to be distressing and really nasty. And that is what I could not stand–why would anyone feel the need to humiliate someone over their cooking ability or lack thereof?

When one partner actively humiliates another, that is bad news. Seriously bad news, and I cannot help but think that is unacceptable in any aspect of a relationship.

Perhaps I should write yet another post on that aspect of it, but what caught me was the idea that if a man would give control to a woman in the kitchen, she should snap him up immediately. It was such a turnaround from the days of “The Feminine Mystique” that I was fascinated by it, and wondered if there were other alpha cooks who were female in the world, or if it was primarily men.